The day you become a parent, there is something inside of you that changes. You have this overwhelming love that is bursting from your heart. You feel like you can conquer the world, and the true love that you knew with your partner has been expanded. It is a love that grows - now having to take care of a little one every minute that goes by, you think "How in the world did I ever make it without this little one?" You can't help but wish to yourself, "I never ever want to lose them." When this happens, your feelings become stronger for others as well.
Tuesday morning, I got the call, that Jackson Levi didn't make it through the night. He was born the night before and we were praising God and were so thrilled that he entered the world. My cousin Madi and her husband Levi only got to be with him for a few hours before his lungs couldn't make it anymore. Oh, my heart just ached and my tears flowed all day long. Every time I would think of my sweet cousin I just couldn't get over what they must be feeling. They were so ready for Jackson to be with them. His room was done up in grey and blue, he had adorable outfits ready to be dressed in, but he was gone. I was lost without words and I didn't understand. The only comfort I could find was that he is now in the best place a baby could be...a place where there is no pain, no tears or sadness - he is with our Jesus. I know Madi and Levi will always be missing their son every day that goes by and we will always remember Jackson. My heart is still hurting and tears are still coming. But we have an amazing God that cares, takes care of the hurting who have lost, and the special ones that are gone. Little Jackson Levi is changing hearts and making a difference in people's lives. I can't wait for the day when my cousins are at the golden gates of heaven with our Father and get to see little Jackson Levi running out to them and give them the hugs and kisses that they have been waiting for. It will be the most glorious day!!